Congrats! You’ve just been offered a fabulous new job in a great area. After some deep discussion with your partner, you both agree that it’s a go. It’s a very exciting time for both of you—but a stressful one, too. Especially for your partner. You now have two jobs—and one of them is looking out for your boo.
According to mental health experts, moving is one of the top five most stressful life events. Unfortunately, job loss is, too. While you’re poised to start your dream job, your partner is likely leaving a good job behind—a double whammy of upheaval. Now, add in the fact that you’re leaving friends, family, and “home” behind, and it’s an adjustment, to say the least.
But wait, there’s more. Should you get all wrapped up in your new job—say, you start your new gig ahead of your household—your partner may get stuck holding the bag. Or, rather bags, as in all those that need to be packed, transported, unpacked…you get the picture.
Bottom line: even the smoothest relocations take some effort, and that can put pressure on both of you. But there are steps you can take to ensure your spouse survives relocation—and your relationship does, too.
7 Ways to Ease Your Partner's Relocation Stress
Of course, you’re already a caring, considerate person. Here’s some relocation-specific ways to show it.
Plan Your Move as a Team
There are many decisions involved with relocating. Rule #1: make them together! When will you actually move? Will you buy or rent? Will your partner find a new job, too? These are all questions to talk through together upfront.
Can’t come to agreement? Keep doing research, working through the pros and cons until you do. Or, at the least, figure out a temporary way to move forward with the promise to revisit it later.
Review Your Relocation Benefits Together
If this is your first corporate relocation, there’s a lot to absorb here—including what’s covered and what services are available to you.
Assuming your new employer uses a modern, tech-based relocation management solution like UrbanBound, you’ll be able to explore your benefits online, together and separately. This will help you make the most of them.
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Divide and Conquer
Unless either you or your partner are one of those super-organized people who enjoys juggling myriad details, the fairest approach to relocation planning is to divide up all your tasks.
Say, one of you obtains and compares quotes from movers, while the other starts talking to realtors. And if your partner starts to seem overwhelmed, be ready to jump in and lighten the load.
Explore Your New Location Online
Part of the stress of moving is the unknown. One of the best ways to get past that is by learning about your new area before you arrive. Needless to say, you’ll find an overwhelming amount of information online.
Tip: if you’re using relocation software like UrbanBound, you’ll find carefully-curated, hyper-local information at your fingertips. These are the facts you most need to know: housing costs, school systems and neighborhood demographics. This can save you time, help you avoid misinformation and will reassure both of you.
Make the Most of Your House-hunting Trip
Chances are, your relocation benefits include a house-hunting trip. Not only must your partner go with you, but let him or her call some shots. When checking out properties and neighborhoods, be attentive to their input.
In addition, set aside some time and energy to explore the area. A few hours spent wandering a fascinating part of the city—or hiking in a national forest, if that’s your thing—can go a long way to making you both more excited about your upcoming move.
Help Your Honey Acclimate
Before the move, start listing all the sights and attractions you want to explore once you arrive—and be sure your partner gets first pick.
Following the move, encourage them to explore on their own terms. Be open and supportive. Be as interested in their day as you are in your own. Celebrate every small achievement.
If your partner plans to work after your move, help identify job-hunting resources. Does your employer offer any programs? Networking opportunities? Can your new coworkers recommend some great local employers or recruiters? Make it a team effort!
Talk, Listen and Show You Care
Relocating is exciting, but it’s an adjustment, and people adapt at their own pace. Even though you’re also going through this, reserve some emotional energy for your partner. Listen closely to what they say (or don’t), and be responsive.
Be sympathetic. Be solutions oriented. And compromise, compromise, compromise.
Keep in mind: when your sweetie agrees to relocate, they’re agreeing to uproot their life and career for you. That’s an amazing gift of love. Appreciate it, and treat it with care.
For more information on Urbanbound, check out our website.
